A Georgia jury awarded $ 1.16 million in compensatory damages to the family of James Davis, who died in 2002 from infections stemming from falls and negligent care at the North Macon Health Care Nursing Home in Macon, Georgia. Davis, a 62 year old stroke victim who was confined to a wheelchair, fell nine times during his one year stay at the nursing home. After severe complications resulted from the falls, doctors suggested the amputation of a leg, and a permanent feeding tube. His son, Mr Scott Davis, made a decision to let his father die with as much dignity as possible, a decision that was attached by the defense attorneys during the trial.
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A London police officer apprehends a cycling priest for letting go of the handlebars so he
could pray while on the move: "I hate to do this, reverend, but I'm going to have to fine
you five pounds for cycling without due care on a public highway."
"Oh golly Moses!
I assure you there was no real danger, officer. Did you not notice how the guiding hand of
the Lord was steering me in and out of the traffic?"
"I can't say I did, sir. But since you come to mention it, that'll be another five pounds
for carrying a passenger."
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In the park, somewhere in London one gentleman sits on the grass, kissing young
girl. Policeman comes to them and says:
- Finish, guy!
Gentleman answers with pride:
- No, sir! I'm British!
One funny dialogue from the tape for those, who's studying English:
- That's the question to Dr. Hamilton.
- What's the question?
- Here the question: Is there any person in the world, whom you'd like to stay
with more than with any other person?
- Is my wife in the audience?
Two commandoes fall out'a the jungle. They sit down for a rest. One takes out a
pack of cigarettes wishing smoke but they're all completely wet. Second commando
takes out a pack of cigarettes too and each cigarette is put into a condom and
they're dry. The first commando catches the idea and next time before new raid
to jungle he comes to a drug-store and asks for some condoms. A shop-keeper asks
him back:
- For man, for woman?
- No, for "Camel".
- Oh, king size, king size...
Two fishes swim in Atlantics.
Suddenly the great shadow covered them.
First fish: What a shadow! What can it be?
Second one: That's the bottom of "Queen Elizabeth".
First fish: God, save the king!
Once an Irish man was seeking for job and that was very long process. Every day
he read newspapers looking for job announcements, but unfortunately he couldn't
find anything. And one day he's found that one company needs a qualified
woodcutter. Lucky Pat put the newspaper into the pocket and ran to the office of
this company. He found the boss, sitting in the big room in the big arm- chair.
-Ok, Pat, - the boss said, - I can give you a job, but first I'd like to see
what you can. I need good worker - so you must cut 100 trees a day. If you do
this, I'll pay you 20 pounds a day. But if you fail, you'll get nothing. I'll be
testing your abilities for three days - if you cut 100 trees a day, you'll get
60 pounds and the job. Otherwise, go away, - I don't need
kids in my company. Take the chain-saw and start.
Pat went to the tools shop, took the chain-saw and started to cut trees. He
worked all the day and in the evening 70 trees were cut. Pat came to boss and
said:
- Boss, I've cut 70 trees today. Will you pay me?
- No, Pat, we have the agreement - 100 trees or nothing. You should work better
tomorrow!
Next day Pat got up early in the morning, with the sunrise. He worked till
sunset and cut 90 trees. He came to boss and said:
- Boss, I've cut 90 trees. That's much more than yesterday. I'm tired, I'm
hungry, please, pay me several pounds to let me have some rest.
- No, Pat, - boss said, - we have the agreement - 100 trees or nothing! If you
cut 100 trees tomorrow, I'll pay you 60 pounds - then you may have some rest!
Next day Pat got up before the sunrise. He worked hard all the day, without even
any short break. When the last rays of the Sun dissapeared in the darkness, 99
trees were cut. Poor tired Pat came to boss and said:
- Sir, I've cut 99 trees, I can't do more. I'm very tired, I'm very hungry,
please, pay me something to let me eat a little and sleep for several hours.
- No, Pat, - boss said. You're lazy, you can't work well. Bring your chain-saw
to the shop and go away! I don't want a worker like you!
Poor Pat went to the shop with his chain-saw. A man, who was in charge of all
the stuff in the shop, took his saw and turned it on to see is it Ok. The
chain-saw loudly started - it was full of gas and worked fine. He put it on the
shelf, turned around and saw Pat astonished, with widely opened mouth.
- What's wrong, buddy? - asked he.
- Shit, I've never thought that this saw may work itself! - exclaimed Pat.